Happy Holidays - really?

Hello all.  Many apologies for not blogging in the past few days.  My Internet access is few and far between at the moment as I am on "holiday".  Apparently.

I had a brainwave a few weeks age, I decided that during the hell of school holidays I would take the kids and spend a week with my mum.  Tom can stay up the road in Aberdeen and work a lot. Or not.  I would get a week at my mums to socialise, do loads of fun things with the kids and be nice and relaxed.  What a fucking stupid idea. I'm sure I must have been pissed when I thought of it (or maybe so sleep deprived that my brain malfunctioned)

So on Saturday Tom drives us down to mums, 150ish miles away.  He can't wait to get rid of us.  The car is loaded up - one of our neighbours asks of we're moving somewhere as the amount of stuff we need for a week away is just ridiculous.  Pram, steriliser, pump, bottles, food stuff, clothes for 3 of us, toiletries, nappies, dummies, Blaines toys (which he packed himself - remember the finger, spider - all rubbish that he won't even look at) Bumbo for Imogen, sling, bedding - and on and on and on......  Tom drives down, in a very good mood for once (I wonder why....) and we arrive at mum's in excellent time.  Good job I dozed off on the way down, I'm assuming Tom was going a teeny bit over 70mph.

Tom unloaded the car at break-neck speed, I sorted out the bedrooms with all our junk, mum put the kettle on and shoogled Imogen.  Blaine, well he just moaned about being hungry or thirsty or got in the way really.  After tea Tom left.  Quickly.  The look of glee on his face was un-bearable.  Lucky git - a whole week to himself. Humph. And so my holiday began......

Blaine had made a list of things to-do on this holiday.  They are as follows:

1.  Go swimming
2.  Go to the zoo
3.  Go to Almondvale Heritage Centre
4.  Go to the park
5.  Visit Deep Sea World

So far we have done 3 of the above mentioned items (2, 3 and 4), swimming is tomorrow.  I have a different list, here it is:

1.  Meet friends for tea and wine.
2.  Meet different friends for lots of vodka and food, but mainly vodka
3.  Relax.

So far I have completed 1 of the above items.  It involved wine.  The vodka session is happening on Saturday with 3 fabulous uni friends, I can't wait for Saturday.  I think relaxing will come into the equation on Saturday too. 

So today we visited one of my said uni friends for a civilised coffee and play with the kids - then I headed into Edinburgh with mum, she had a boring solicitor appointment, so I took Blaine and Imogen into Rae Mac's music shop.  Blaine wanted a recorder so I bought him one - how bad can it be?  Very is the answer.  I have forgotten how bloody awful a recorder sounds - screeching away like some dying animal.  Eugh.  But it's a start in his musical life.  Blaine WILL be musical.  He has no choice - it's in his blood apparently, and a recorder is more bearable than a brass-bloody-band.  So we bring the recorder home, I also got him a wee book so I could teach him how to play it.  After 2 mins he's sent outside with the god awful thing to make a noise in the garden. My ears are bleeding from the noise.  It's horrific. "SSSCCCRRREEEEAAAACCCHHHH" very loud and very high pitched.  Give me strength.  He, of course, thinks he's some kinda world class musician and is too good for the beginner's book - he want's to play proper music as the book I have isn't proper music as the notes aren't high enough. WTF?! Not high enough? Are you kidding me - the squealing is just horrendous.  So it's put away.  Imogen needs to sleep so the recorder needs to go away.  Now.  I swear Blaine, if you don't put it away I will put it in the bin.  We can play it nice and QUIETLY tomorrow.  Honest. The kids go to bed, mum goes to choir and I pour myself a vodka alcopop thingy which mum has kindly purchased for my "holiday".

Tomorrow involves swimming and shopping, sounds nice but please do remember that I will have the 2 kids and my mum, Imogen hates the water so I'm reluctant to take her swimming - but mum wants to see her in the pool.  Ok - you can deal with her going purple with The Rage. Blaine will strop as I don't go down the flumes.  Oh - did I mention I don't actually have my swimming cossie with me, but mum has kindly offered me hers.  Nice.  Apart from the fact shes about 4 dress sizes bigger than me and the cossie is about 20 years old.  So it might be a big saggy and well worn.  What an image. So it'll be a trip to Asda in the morning for a cheap swim suit with no boob or tummy support.

On Friday I'm visiting another uni friend and her wee boy.  Saturday I will be bladdered.  Absolutely hammered. Tom is arriving at mum's on Saturday after some brass-band contest, so he will have to deal with the kids for a whole day.  How's he getting on I hear you ask (or not) - he's having a ball.  He found cat sick on the window-sill when he arrived home on Saturday.  He's working lots, going to band lots, getting takeaways willy nilly, and he might even just do a wee bit of housework tomorrow night if he has the time apparently.  Alright for some eh?  Me, well I think I'll be a raving alcoholic by the time this week is up.